


Magic is Overrated

by HanShootsFirst



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gryffindor, HarryPotter - Freeform, Hogwarts, Hufflepuff, Love, M/M, Magic, Ravenclaw, Romance, Slytherin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-03-09 10:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18915496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanShootsFirst/pseuds/HanShootsFirst
Summary: Managing the trials of magic is hard enough on its own for Cassiopeia Crouch. But throughout the years, she deals with the ups and downs of love, loss, secrets and a past best left untold, which leads Cass to question who she really is - and who she wants to be.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lauren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauren/gifts).



Wanted Dead Or Alive

Sirius Black

 

I sighed and placed the news article to the side. At this point in time, I am desperate to find any news other than Sirius Black, which has proved itself to be more challenging than I would have initially thought. 

Kicking my feet up against the red velvet booth across from me, I reached into the little brown messenger bag sitting to my left and pulled out the book I have been reading all summer. Les Miserables, a muggle novel. It’s a rather long one, over a thousand pages. You may be thinking that, given the fact that I have had the whole summer, I would’ve been done with it by now, but sadly that was not the case. In all honesty, my summers tend to be even busier than the school year, which really bugs me.

This whole Sirius Black drama had me even busier than usual, helping my father in every way possible, like hanging up wanted posters and helping edit articles on him. In fact, the one I just picked up seemed rather familiar…

My father, like the rest of my family, is obsessed with the Ministry of Magic. But what is special about him is that he was possibly even more crazy for it than the past generations of the Crouch family. Everything he ever talks about is ‘work’ when in reality, we know he’s only talking about ‘work’ so he can talk about the Ministry.

Oh, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, that is where he works.

He has a major position there; Head of The Magical Law Control or something along those insignificant lines. But when I was around seven, he ran for Minister, which takes an equal amount of guts and stupidity. Because when you have a seven year old child, you’re supposed to be taking care of her, rather than exposing her to national headlines in papers and creeps slapping her ass at the playground.

Obviously, he didn’t win, or the ass slapping wouldn’t have subsided.

Though he would never admit it, his loss was pretty clearly because of all the drama that has happened within our family in the past.

That doesn’t matter, though.

If you asked me, the Ministry is a whole load of crap. They filter their stories to fit what they want to the world to see, rather than the truth, and they think they’re so entitled, just because they have authority over us. Like, Cornelius Fudge, the man who beat my father during the election, thinks because he’s Minister he’s better than us. If anyone is better than anyone else in this world, it’s like...Elvis. Or me. I’d like to think I’m pretty cool.

But of course, no one does ever ask me.

If I ruled the world, it would be so much better of a place. For one, I would get rid of certain people. Like Harry Potter and Dumbledore and Fudge. They would all be shipped off into space on a flying unicorn rocket filled with snakes and spider webs and disassembled doll limbs.

Then I would outlaw stupidity. 

Wow, why am I not Minister???

 

“Hey, mind if I sit here?”

I looked up from my book, which sucked because I was at a really good part. A tall boy with light brown hair and an annoyingly charming smile was standing in the doorway, leaning against the glass frame. Instantly, I recognised him, and wanted to stand up, tell him no way in hell, then punch him in the nose.

This guy was the most popular, handsome boy in all of Hogwarts, according to the student body, despite the fact that he probably had permanent brain damage from all the chemical products he uses in his hair, obviously smoked weed and his butt is about as flat as a pancake. I personally didn’t see the appeal in a flat assed stoner, but who am I to judge?

“Uh…” Is the most intelligent response I could come up with. No, I did not want him to sit by me, but I’m most definitely not about to say that, given that I couldn’t remember his name.

“Thanks.” He smiled his stupid smile that would have any other girl swooning and flopped down across from me. See what I mean when I say he has clear brain damage?

I said nothing in return, as I reached for my book, knowing very well that this would annoy the hell out of him. He’s used to girls swooning over him, so my choice to ignore his presence would most likely make him realize that he isn’t all that in a bag of chips. Oh, and I just wanted to read.

But no, sadly, men with social skills only appear in fairy tales, as he doesn’t pick up on my obvious leave me alone hint, and of course started to talk again. “It’s Crouch, right? Like...Cassidy Crouch?”

“Close enough.”

I wished my name was Cassidy. Or Cassandra. Or anything along those lines. But, of course, my parents were probably on drugs when they named me, and I was cursed to be forever called Cassiopeia. Besides it being a dreadfully long and hard to pronounce name in general, the story behind it makes me want to tear my hair out. And I quite like my hair too.

It’s the story of a vain queen from Greek mythology that was banished to the stars, hence the constellation. How very flattering, being named after a narcissistic shape in the sky.

He smiled yet again, showing off perfectly straight white teeth, and when I think he isn’t going to say anything else, I look back down at my book and continue to read. Sadly, I was mistaken.

“Are you in my year? I forget if I’ve seen you in my classes before.”

I shrugged, though I knew the answer very well. “Dunno. I’m in third.”

“Oh, I’m fifth.” He frowned. “Do you go by Cass? Or just Cassidy? Oh, and I’m Cedric, by the way.”

“Cedric. Cool name.” I couldn’t give less of a damn what your name is and you’re very lucky I keep my rude thoughts to myself, you ignorant prick. “And Cass is fine, thanks.”

“Thanks.” He beamed at my compliment.

“May I ask why you’re sitting here?”

“What do you mean?”

Oh my lord, give me a break. “I mean, we’ve like, never spoken until now. Don’t you have like, other ancient Hufflepuff friends to get high with?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Sorry, forget the last part...I’m just wondering why you’ve chosen to talk to me, of all people. We don’t exactly know each other.”Why in the bloody name of Merlin am I being this polite to him? People with this low of an IQ don’t deserve my respect, for goodness sake.

Cedric shrugged. “I dunno, honestly. My friends are off doing Merlin knows what, and you seemed lonely.”

“Oh.” Suddenly, I felt a tinge of guilt for being so rude to him earlier, even if it was just in my mind. I’m not used to this feeling, and it feels very odd. “Uhm...thanks, I think.” Holy hell, did I just thank him?

He smiled again. “You’re welcome!”

I shifted, unsure of what to say. Merlin, could I ever be more awkward? Well, I suppose it could be worse.

Luckily, Cedric spoke again, saving us both from the uncomfortable silence between us. “Pretty bloody creepy, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“The stuff about Black.” Only then do I realize he is holding the newspaper I had discarded earlier, with the article on the madman plastered on the front page.

“Oh!” I go bright red. Wow, maybe he isn’t the one on drugs, if I’m this dense. “Yeah, creepy doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

“No, it really doesn’t.” He suddenly got this really far off expression. “I remember when he first killed Pettigrew and the others. My father went ballistic with fear, he wouldn’t even let my mum to go to work. It was insane.”

“I can’t even remember it, given that I was practically an infant, but I would assume my father did the same.”

That was obvious, but I didn’t know if Cedric had realized that or not. If he knows who I am, who my family is, he would most likely know that my father was way too preoccupied at the time to focus on such petty things as Sirius Black and Pettigrew and the Potters and whatnot.

Though I doubt Cedric has any background knowledge on me, since that would be A.) rather creepy and B.) he doesn’t have the mental capacity to remember such things. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering.

“I suppose that makes sense, I-”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, as the train came to a sudden stop.

“What’s going on?” I frowned, glancing out the compartment’s door, along with Cedric.

“I have no clue.” He replied, as the lights above us begin to flicker off. My stomach dropped, and I can sense fear in his eyes as well.

“What in the name of Merlin?” I leaned back in my seat, my head swarming with thoughts. Holy shit, is Sirius Black here?! What if he broke onto the train and is going to kill us all??? Omilord, we’re all going to die!!!

It’s as if all the happiness is draining out of me, as my mind goes to the worst things imaginable. All the awful memories of the past, all the horrible predictions of what could be happening at that very moment, of what could be about to happen to Cedric and I.

As if all the hope in the world had vanished.

Cedric and I sat there in total silence for a good ten minutes, until the lights flickered on and back to normal, and the train took off as if nothing had ever happened.

 

According to recent rumors floating around the school, it was a dementor that interrupted our train ride. A guard of Azkaban prison, where Sirius Black escaped from only a couple months earlier.

Dumbledore confirmed that theory when he stated dementors would be all around the castle, guarding the place.

“Give them no reason to harm you.” He warned us all, and I rolled my eyes. Because clearly, he wasn’t talking to all of us. He didn’t give a damn about our safety, I knew that for sure. He just cared about Potter. He was only talking about Potter. It was bloody obvious.

Then, as he finished up his rubbish speech, the feast began.


	2. Chapter Two

By a long string of events that involves my best friend Naia Akiona and her crush on the one and only Harry Potter, I had been signed up for Care of Magical Creatures as one of my electives. And because my luck was just that great, the old professor to said class had resigned last year, and the spot had been taken over by none other than some beared half giant freak called Hagrid, that smelled like rotten bananas.

“Did you hear Potter fainted when the dementor was on the train?” Draco Malfoy said to me for perhaps the fiftieth time that day as we waited for Hagrid to begin the class.

We were outside, at the edge of the forbidden forest, swatting bugs away from us and communicating amongst ourselves.

“Yeah, I heard.” I laughed to myself, rolling my eyes at what was an obvious crush Draco had. He couldn’t go five minutes without talking about Potter - he was almost as bad as Naia, who had ditched our usual group to stalk him.

“How many times are you gonna bring it up, Malfoy?” Lena Rosier said from my left, tossing her silky black hair behind her shoulders. “You have an obsession with it, it’s kind of creepy.”

He went cherry red. “I do not!”

“Do too!” Lena and I said, along with Alysen and Blaise, and we all started laughing, with the exception of Draco, of course. “It’s like Naia has taken over your soul.”

Draco, Naia, Blaise and I had grown up together - our fathers all worked at the Ministry together, and we had been friends since we knew how to walk. Lena Rosier and Alysen Dane joined our sort of cult-like friend circle when we all met at Hogwarts when we were eleven, along with two buffoons of men, known as Crabbe and Goyle.

Being sorted into different houses seemed to do the opposite of keep us apart - it made us determined to be the “best” house, and it was great fun. Or at least that’s what I told myself, when I had wasted very valuable time trashing the Slytherin dormitories.

The house breakdown looked something like this:

Gryffindor (the arrogant): Harry Potter, Lena Rosier, Neville Longbottom

Hufflepuff (the weak): Alysen Dane, Cedric Diggory, Mohommad Rosier

Ravenclaw (the snobs): Me, Naia Akiona, Terry Boot

Slytherin (the evil): Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle

Ravenclaw was, of course, the best.

My entire family had been in Slytherin for generations, but my father took no disappointment when I was sorted into Ravenclaw at age 11, but instead wrote me a long, detailed letter on how Ravenclaw was perfect for me and the best place to be for a good future, which was nice because he rarely seemed to take an interest in my life at all. I’m not kidding, sometimes I wonder if I died, how long it would take him to notice. Perhaps at least a week, for my corpse to start making our home smell nasty. Even then, rotting flesh probably wouldn’t phase him.

Unique man, my father was.

“‘Ello, class!” A booming voice said from behind us, and we all turned around.

Hagrid marched over to us, with a birdlike creature on a rope behind him.

I stumbled back. “What the hell is that thing?”

“This,” Hagrid said, his voice full of pride, “is Buckbeak. He’s a hippogriff.”

Helpful.

More stuff happened, I wasn’t quite paying attention, as Naia had returned to me and continued to pester me about if I had any crushes at the moment.

Of course, the answer was no. I was thirteen, what was the point? You date for a couple weeks then get bored of each other, I didn’t quite see the appeal. Besides, all the men at Hogwarts were gross, and the women were straight.

Feelings, who needs them, anyways?

What I did see, however, was none other than Harry Potter himself with his special treatment fly around on the so called Hippogriff, because ya know, why the hell not put a thirteen year old on a giant bird?

The bird hippogriff thing landed after a couple of long, boring minutes of everyone around me with their ooo’s and awww’s, and I figured the show was over.

But no, because no one seems to have any common sense around here.

Draco Malfoy, being himself, pushed his way through the crowd and up the the bird, as Harry stepped to the side.

I couldn’t hear what he was saying, over all the gasps around me, but I could tell it was something meant to insult the bird, as it lifted up it’s leg and clawed him, leaving a bloody red scratch on Draco’s arm.

Everyone gasped even more, as he fell over in pain, crying out.

“Draco!” I shouted, and Lena was restraining both me and Blaise, who was next to me, from running at him.

“Guys!” She hissed in our ears. “It’ll get you too!”

I wiggled out of her grip, and turned to Hagrid, who was bending over to pick Draco up from the ground.

“You’ll pay for that one, you will, half breed!” I shouted without even thinking. No one even noticed, it seemed, as everyone watched Hagrid carry my screaming friend away from view.


	3. Chapter Three

I had been in the hospital wing my fair share of times, but never for visitation purposes, so I was unsure how to go about it.

“Erm, hello, Madam Pomfrey.” I poked my head in the door, glancing around the room.

She was seated on the edge of a bed, which was the current home of a boy whose skin had apparently been dyed a bright blue. “Just a minute, Boot.” She glared at him through horn rimmed glasses that rested at the edge of her nose. “Yes, Crouch? What’s wrong this time?”

“I was wondering if Draco Malfoy was here?”

“Yes, yes…” she waved her hand over to her left, and went back to the blue boy.

I frowned, and slowly stepped over to the bed at the very corner, where none other than Draco Malfoy was, asleep. Either that or faking, knowing him, to get out of the rest of his classes.

“Draco?” I poked him.

Nothing.

Great job, Cass.

I poked him again.

Still nothing.

Letting out a sigh, I sat down in a chair next to him and pulled out Les Miserables, opening to the page I had just left off on. Jean had just met a girl named Cosette for the first time, and I was more than intrigued at this point.

“Oi, what language is that? Chinese?”

I practically jumped out of my seat in alarm, and looked up furiously.

A redhead boy I don’t think I had ever seen before was hovering over me with a stupid grin on his face, hair falling over his eyes.

“No, it’s French. You uncultured swine.”

“Well sorry I’m not fluent in oui oui baguette.”

I glared at him. “Do you want something?”

He shrugged. “I’m bored.”

“Not my problem.”

“Well I’m making it your problem.” He crossed his arms, and I blinked, completely baffled as to what to say.

“I’m sorry, but do I know you?” I said finally.

“I don’t think so. Unless you’re stalking me, which I wouldn’t be surprised about, because I’m completely irresistible.” He winked at me, and I frowned.

“You keep telling yourself that...” I looked back down at my book.

“What’s your baguette book about?”

“Learn French.” I shrugged. “Then you can read it yourself.”

“Orrrr you could just tell me yourself. I’m gonna be here a while anyways.” He nudged to the side, where a boy almost identical to him laid, and I assumed that was it his twin brother.

“It’s about a man named Jean Veljean during the French Revolution who breaks his prison parole.” I summed up simply.

“Oh. Sounds boring.”

“More like beautiful. It’s a work of genius, really.”

“Why do you even know French?”

“Because my father is French...it’s my second language.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “Second?! I can barely even manage English on its own, how the hell do you know two?!

I shrugged. “I was practically raised on it.”

“Bloody smart people…”

“What did you say your name was again?”

“Oh.” He paused for a second. “I’m George Weasley. And erm, that’s my brother Fred.” He pointed at the bed.

“Nice.” I forced a smile. Ronald Weasley’s brothers, I assumed. Our fathers worked together at the Ministry. And Malfoy despised the lot of them, so I was supposed to as well. “I’m Cass.”

“Cass like Cassandra?” He blinked.

I rolled my eyes. Idiot.

“No, it’s Cassiopeia.”

“I think I’ll just call you Cassie.”

“Um...no, my name is Cass.” I said, taken aback.

“If you say so, Cassie.”

I almost gagged at the stupid smirk he had plastered on his face. “What kind of name is Cassie?”

“Yours.” He said simply, and I groaned.


	4. Chapter Four

Wind blew my hair out of place as I stood at the edge of the Quidditch Pitch, silently cursing myself for not bringing a hair binder. My broom was in my left hand, balancing the tip on the ground and I shuddered from the bitter Autumn weather that living in Scotland came with.

    Cho Chang, a girl a year ahead of me, and one of the only other Asians in the school besides Lena, Naia and the Patil twins, was fiddling with her hair, pulling it back into a sharp, flawless ponytail.

    She was the only other girl at tryouts, and so I stayed close to her.

    “So,” A boy called Peter began, who was Quidditch Captain and a Chaser, “Everyone, separate into four groups for which position you will be going for. Keepers, over there, Seekers, next to the goalpost, Beaters, over there, and Chasers by me.”

    I followed three boys - Terry Boot, Harker Lyon and Joseph Johnston to where he directed the beaters.

    You see, the only reason I was there in the first place was because last year, my friend Alysen and I had made a bet on who would win the Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw match last year. Whoever lost had to try out for the Quidditch team the next year (as both of us were mortified by the idea of such). My bet, sadly, had been on Ravenclaw.

    So here I was.

    “On my command, you take off your brooms and do two laps around the pitch. Seekers first. One, two, three!”

    And the tryouts began, people flying around, hitting different sized balls to each other and screaming.

    I was given a wooden bat  about the size of my forearm and was instructed to use it to whack flying balls away from my face.

    Somehow, I lived to tell the tale, because an hour and a half later, Terry Boot and I were high fiving, as we had made the team as two beaters.

    Cho Chang became seeker, Michael Corner was keeper, and Marcus Belby, and Anthony Goldstein joined Peter as chasers.

    “Hey, Cass! Cho!” Someone shouted at me and Cho Chang as they ran down off of the bleachers. I had been making small talk with her as we walked off the field, and turned around.

    Oh Lord, why?

    None other than Cedric Diggory was jogging towards us, a huge smile plastered on his face. “Nice job, you guys!”

    “Thanks!” Cho smiled widely, where I just barely managed to shrug.

    “I tried out for Seeker this year as well,” He continued, and I bit my lip to stop myself from groaning. “So we’ll most likely play against each other - try to keep those bludgers away from me, Cass.” He winked at me.

    “Yeah, um...I’ll try?”

    You’ll be my target.

    Cedric patted me on the back. “Well, I gotta go finish my Transfiguration essay, catch ya later!”

    And with that he walked away.


	5. Chapter Five

“Good morning third years!” The new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor greeted as he walked into the room. They had introduced him a week or so ago at the feast, but I couldn’t remember his surname. Luna, maybe? Something along those lines. He appeared tired, and his shoulders were hunched as if he were in pain. His robes were old and torn up, and his face was covered in scars from God knows what. Perhaps a wild animal attacked? I had no idea, but I instantly felt bad for the man.

“Hello professor Lupin.” We all repeated back to him in unison.

Lupin. I thought. Like the flower.

I instantly knew I liked this Professor Lupin character.

“Today, we will be learning about Boggarts. Can anyone here tell me what a Boggart is? Yes, miss…?”

“Granger.” A female voice said from behind me. I knew her instantly - Hermione Granger, the smartest in our year, and one of Harry Potter’s best friends. I didn’t know her very well, I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to her, but I had a rather negative opinion on her. She thought she was all that in a bag of chips. I mean, she wasn’t nearly as bad as say, Diggory, or Potter, but she still irked me.

“Yes, miss Granger. Carry on.”

    She explained what the Boggart thing was, but I zoned out, thinking about all the things in the world that didn’t matter in the slightest, like if my hair looked okay and how that Terry Boot guy on the Quidditch team was rather cute, and before I knew it, we were all forming a line in front of a wardrobe.

“What’s going on?” I whispered to Naia, who was staring ahead of her excitedly.

“Were you not listening?”

“No, of course not.”

“God, you’re so much like Malfoy and Zabini sometimes, ya know.” She shook her head, the inner Slytherin prejudice taking over her. “We’re facing Boggarts. Our worst fear, basically. We have to make it laugh with a spell called Riddikulus.”

I nodded. “Right, makes sense.”

It didn’t.

Worst fear. I pondered, as the line moved up. Did I even have a worst fear?

“Wait, Naia, what should I-”

Just as I said that, the line moved up, and it was Naia’s turn, so I was cut off.

She was shaking ever so slightly, as she stepped up to the cupboard with her wand drawn. I blinked, and what looked to be a spider on roller skates turned into a werewolf, with enormous claws and drool dripping out of its mouth.

Everyone, including Professor Lupin, took a few steps backwards in shock. Naia raised her wand, shouted out, “Riddikukus!”

Before I could realise what was happening, the werewolf began shifting, until it’s fur was rainbow colored.

Everyone roared out in laughter, and I stepped forward, still with no clue as to what my worst fear was, and how to make it funny.

But apparently, I didn’t have to think of a worst fear for it to exist, as the rainbow werewolf transformed again, and this time took the shape of none other than Bartemius Crouch Jr.

I felt slightly faint, as I raised my trembling wand up to my brother, his left eye twitching and licking his lips profusely, just as my father described him.

“R-riddikulus.” I said, not aware how much I was shaking until I heard my own voice wavering.

Barty’s figure began to ulter, a horn popping out of his head and a tail sprouting out his ass.

Even I couldn’t help but laugh along with the rest of the class - I had turned my brother into a unicorn.

Until the wave of dread hit me again like a storm, my stomach cramping up and it took everything in me not to just collapse on the spot.

“Excellent, Cassiopeia!” Professor Lupin beamed at me, apparently not noticing anything was wrong.

I nodded slightly, heading to the back of the line and leaning against the wall.

Draco leaned over to me, shifting awkwardly in his cast from the Hippogriff incident. “Was that Barty? The guy your boggart turned into, I mean.”

“Yeah.” I shrugged, trying to act calm and avoid the sinking feeling in my stomach.

Not many people knew about the whole Barty Thing, as I liked to call it in my head, but Draco, Naia and Blaise did. It would be hard to keep them from it, our fathers were friends when it happened in the first place.  

“Oh.” He frowned, shrugging and pointing his attention back at the Boggart. “Hey Crouch, look, Potter’s ‘bout to go. This should be interesting.”

“Or just pathetic.” I mumbled to myself, slowly backing away from the crowd, and making my way towards the door.

    “Cass,” Lena Rosier, who I hadn’t even realised was next to me, grabbed my wrist. “What’s up? You okay?”

    I nodded.

    “Yeah, well, you don’t seem like it.” She tucked a strand of black hair behind her ear.

    Lena was the kind of person who was strikingly beautiful without trying, and I both loved and hated her for it. She was of Indian descent, with gorgeous curls and startling brown eyes that any man would instantly melt if they saw. I knew, if I were a lesbian, I would be all up on her. But alas, I was not, and naturally, she seemed to be above the whole idea of romance, besides a crush lasting only for a week back in our first year on Harry Potter. Not unlike myself, I suppose, but my reasons differed from her, in the sense that a man would have to be absolutely mental to find me as a suitable romantic partner. So I never really tried, because what was the point? I wasn’t pretty, I wasn’t nice and I hated almost everyone.

    I gave her a small smile. “It’s fine Lena, don’t worry.”

    She frowned. “Okay, whatever you say…”

    Suddenly someone let out a scream, and I jolted up just in time to see Professor Lupin step right in front of Potter, blocking him from a dark, hooded figure. Was that a dementor?

    Before I could determine what it was, however, it transformed yet again into-

    “Is that a moon?” Draco whispered into my ear.

    “I...I think so.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little as Lupin casted Riddikulus and it became a balloon, and flew back into the closet.

    “That man is pathetic.” Draco scoffed, as the class began to file out the exit. “C’mon, let’s go.”

    He began to walk away, and I trailed behind him slowly, until the back of his head had been integrated with the rest of the crowd.

Being the absolute genius I was, I waited for everyone else to leave the room before I began to depart. Perhaps it seemed as though I was doing it out of courtesy, but in reality I didn’t want to socialise with any of my peers, in fear that someone would ask me about my Boggart.

But when the hallway appeared to have been cleared out, I made a mad dash for the closest lavatory and huddled up in a corner, too preoccupied to actually find my way into a stall.

That’s when the tears started, running down my face like a waterfall - with all the feelings I didn’t even know existed spilling out. I wrapped my arms around my legs, holding my knees up to my chin, buried my face into my lap and sobbed.

Everyone is gonna know now, everyone is gonna figure out I’m the girl with the crazy dead brother. Everyone is going to find out that it was my brother who tortured Neville Longbottom's parents to insanity. Everyone is going to hate me, everyone is gonna know. What if Draco is telling people? Or Naia or Blaise, or what if Lupin made the connection? What if the rumors became too much and I’m kicked out of Hogwarts because people think I’m just like him.

What if I was just like him?

Within only a few seconds, I couldn’t breathe.

I can’t breathe. Why can’t I breathe?

I gasped for air, but I only sobbed more, my heart began to race and all the hairs on my skin stood up. I was shaking. My ears were ringing, but all I could focus on was the thoughts attacking me from all angles.

What’s happening? I’m going crazy. Holy shit I’m going crazy I’m just like Barty holy shit I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying I’m going crazy and I’m dying and I’m gonna be kicked out of school and I’m dying why can’t I breathe I-

“Hello?!”

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT WHY NOW?! I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. Physically couldn’t, I could barely comprehend who it was and what they were saying, all I could think about was that now someone is going to watch me go crazy and die.

I couldn’t look up, but instead just began shaking even harder, still gasping for air.

“You realise this is the men’s bathro-oh shit, are you okay?”

There were footsteps, and I suddenly felt the warmth of someone next to me. A man, I could tell, and I knew that I had heard the voice before, but I couldn’t be bothered to figure out who it was, or even look up, for that matter. The person paused for a second when they sat down, as if studying me to see what was wrong.

I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying.

“Take a deep breath, Cass. It’s okay.”

I shook my head, my heart rate only going up until I thought it was actually going to explode out of my chest.

“Cass, please. Listen to my voice. I know your head is swarming with thoughts right now, but it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m right here.”

Is this supposed to be helping?

“I know you don’t want to be touched right now. Just inhale. Take a long, deep breath through your nose, and exhale through your mouth, okay? I need you to do that. Focus on your breathing. Ignore the thoughts.”

Maybe it was because I was so desperate, because I had no idea what else to do, but I listened to Mystery Man, and tried breathing through my nose.

Air, clean fresh air. I was breathing. Holy shit I was breathing. I was actually breathing.

I was still shaking, my heart was still racing and my mind was still swarming with thoughts that I couldn’t even comprehend, because there were way too many of them to even focus on one. But I was calming down. It was getting better.

I finally gathered the strength to look up.

Cedric fucking Diggory.

“There ya go.” He smiled slightly through the concern he wore. “Keep going, okay. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Recite the alphabet in your head, really slowly.”

A...B...C...D…

I didn’t know how or why, but it was working, and after a couple of minutes I had calmed down enough to speak.

“I’m sorry…”

He looked baffled. “No, don’t be.”

“I just don’t know what happened...one second I was fine and the next…”

“It was a panic attack. I used to get them too.”

I frowned. “I don’t know what that is…this is the first time it’s happened…”

“Is it okay if to touch you?”

“Um...yeah I think so?” I laughed slightly, my voice still hoarse.

“Sorry. I just know being touched is the last thing people want during a panic attack usually.” He reached over and gives my shoulder a squeeze. A brother like action.

“I’m sorry again. You didn’t have to calm me down...I would’ve been fine.”

“I know. Like I said before, I used to get them. I would’ve done the same to anyone...and I know we don’t know each other very well but...I feel a connection, ya know? Like a sibling bond. I don’t want you to be hurt. ”

My stomach dropped, and I felt the tears coming back.

Of all the things he could’ve said...

He seemed to notice my sudden discomfort, and frowned. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah.” I said, pushing the thought into the back of my mind. He doesn’t know anything. He said it out of coincidence. He doesn’t know about that. How could he? I told myself firmly, while taking deep breaths. “Why did you used to get panic attacks? If that’s not weird to ask?”

“Oh, no it’s okay.” He smiled sadly. “My mother died a few years back, and I got really depressed and stuff, which led to me being stressed out and paranoid...and alas, panic attacks.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be! I mean, of course I still miss her and everything, but I’m okay now. I have my dad, and my friends. And now you.”

“I don’t have many friends. Or at least...friends that I’m close to. I have friends, I just don’t think they really care.”

“Well you have me now.”

I smiled ever so slightly. “Yeah, I suppose I do…”

“Do you know what caused your panic attack? Or would you rather not explain?”

“Boggart.” I said simply.

He nodded understandingly, and wrapped a comforting arm around me.

“Thank you.” I laughed slightly. “I’ve been really rude to you before. You had no reason to-”

“Hey, no, I get it. Don’t worry.”


	6. Chapter Six

Perhaps it was a result of the strange situation, but after that, Cedric and I were officially friends, despite my previous detestment towards him.

And by friends, I mean someone who I would talk to in the halls if we passed each other, ask about each others homework questions (in that case, it was me asking him, as he’s an ancient son of a bitch and I’m thirteen), and on occasion, sitting near each other during meals, depending on what mood our friends were in. If Draco was in one of his moods again, I was at the Hufflepuff table faster than you could say Harry Potter Sucks.

The day of our first trip to Hogsmead was one of the days Naia and Blaise decided to get into a fight for whatever reason, somehow involving a pair of socks and exploding farts (I didn’t pay much attention). Draco went off with

Perhaps it was a result of the strange situation, but after that, Cedric and I were officially friends, despite my previous detestment towards him.

And by friends, I mean someone who I would talk to in the halls if we passed each other, ask about each others homework questions (in that case, it was me asking him, as he’s an ancient son of a bitch and I’m thirteen), and on occasion, sitting near each other during meals, depending on what mood our friends were in. If Draco was in one of his moods again, I was at the Hufflepuff table faster than you could say Harry Potter Sucks.

The day of our first trip to Hogsmead was one of the days Naia and Blaise decided to get into a fight for whatever reason, somehow involving a pair of socks and exploding farts (I didn’t pay much attention). Draco went off with

Crabbe and Goyle, and Alysen and Lena wanted to be alone together, so I, naturally, wandered over to Cedric and his clan of Hufflepuffs after we reached the village.

“Cass!” He smiled widely when I walked over to him, but just as I opened my mouth to respond, I realised that he wasn’t the only person in his group I was friends with - Fred and George Weasley were among them as well, both wearing those awful smirks.

“Cassie!” The one who I presumed was George exclaimed when he saw me, and I pursed my lips.

“Weasley, always a pleasure.”

“Woah woah woah, you guys know each other?” Cedric looked between us.

“I don’t know about George, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this girl before in my life.” Fred laughed,

“Oh shove off.” George pushed his shoulder, and gave me a small wink. “Cassie and I are great friends, isn’t that right?”

I paused for a second, before deciding not to reply to him at all, and instead turned to Cedric with wide eyes. “Well, this has been sufficiently awkward, and I am going to 

go find Blaise. Cya in the afterlife.” I gave him a small smile and walked away, having no intention to spend any more time with that idiodic, annoying, generally unpleasant human being known as George Weasley, no matter who else was there.

Cedric opened his mouth to protest, and called something out, but I ignored him.

“Hey Blaise!” I ran up to him when I spotted the back of his head in the middle of a crowd.

“Sup, dude?” He gave me a toothy smile, and a shoulder squeeze. I usually hated how physically affectionate my friends were, but for whatever reason, I didn’t slink away from him.

“Wanna hang? I have no one else to chill with - besides Naia, but she’ll probably just rant about you the whole time.”

“Sure, just no Naia talk. I can’t stand another fart bomb in my dorms.”

“Right.” I nodded, raising my eyebrows. “So what’s it gonna be? Three Broomsticks? Honeydukes? Anywhere to 

avoid the dementors that are crawling around every damn corner.”

“The Shrieking Shack seems cool, wanna go there?”

No, I’d rather not die, Blaise, but thanks for the offer!

“Sure. Sounds fun!” I forced a grin and my stomach filled with butterflies - the good or bad ones, I couldn’t tell, and we began walking through the trail along with the other students.

“So...you and Diggory are friends now? What’s that about?”

The thought of Cedric made me smile, and for a second I actually felt better. “Yeah, he’s cool.”

“Also like fifty years old. That’s like, creepy.”

“He’s sixteen, Blaise. He’s helped me through some things, we’re just friends. It’s nothing weird like that.” I went bright red at the thought of romance.

After what seemed like forever, we reached the fence where we could gaze across the lawn and at the Shrieking Shack without getting too close and getting killed by whatever haunts it.

“Cool, isn’t it?” He said as we rested our arms on the wooden fence.

“Yeah, it is. I especially like...the...uh...windows.” I went bright red.

“Hey Cass, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“What are your thoughts on Alysen?”

“Alysen?”

What the hell!?

“Yeah, Alysen.”

“I mean...she’s...cool.”

She’s cool, but also one of the most bland people in the history of Hogwarts. You’re suppose to be in love with Draco, or something! Not Alysen!

“Yeah, I’m kind of into her. How do I, like, talk to her? What do girls like? I would ask Naia but...exploding sock farts…” He let out an awkward laugh, and his dark skin went slightly red.

“I um...I don’t know...Maybe just, talk to her. I don’t know.”

There was a long, awkward pause as we both struggled to find something to say.

“Did you hear Potter can’t come to Hogsmead this year?”

I snorted. “Of course he can’t. Let me guess, he was caught doing it in the bathroom with Ron Weasley?”

“No, he just didn’t get his permission slip signed.” Blaise rolled his eyes. He was the only one in our group (besides Naia, of course) who didn’t seem to completely despite Harry Potter, and found it rather annoying when we would talk trash about him. “But good guess. Don’t want Sirius Black finding and killing him.”

“Hey, just because you’re sucking Potter’s dick doesn’t mean we all do. How do you even know that anyways?”

“Neville told me.”

Shit.

The feeling I got when I had my first panic attack rose in my stomach, and I felt all my muscles clench up, just at the sound of his name. “Y-you’re friends with Longbottom?”

“Somewhat. I helped him with his homework last night. He’s nice.” He shrugged. “You good?”

I gulped. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure! Sorry. I…”

“Forgot?”

“Yeah.”

I felt tears slowly meet my eyes, and I blinked them away. God, stop being so sensitive, Cassiopeia! What would your dad think if he saw you right now? I yelled at myself.

“You alright, dude?”

“Yup.” I smiled as large as I physically could. “Now, um, I’m going to...go...sleep.”

“It’s 4pm…”

“You know me! I need my beauty sleep!” I turned around before he could say anything more, and dashed towards the Shrieking Shack without a second thought, and before I knew it, I could hardly see Blaise, and he appeared to be walking the opposite direction.

I let out a loud sigh, and sat down, resting against a tree. It didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to, after the initial shock of it all. But my spirit seemed to have died a bit; my 

heart still pounded and my pride ripped to shreds. But I was alone, which was the only positive of it all that I could think of at the time.

Alone.

I was completely alone.

I was always alone, wasn’t I? I had friends, of course, and a father who occasionally remembers that I exist, but no one truly does know me or understand me. Of course I sound like the epitome of “I’m not like other girls”, but it was true. I was alone in the world.

BARK

I jolted up as a loud noise echoed across the terrain, and looked to my left. A few yards away, a large, black shaggy dog sat, his head tilted and his eyes wide, as if asking me if I was okay.

I smiled slightly, and patted my lap. “Hey doggie! Come here!”

I had never been much of an animal person - I had a pet cat at one point named Penelope, but she died when I was eleven. Dogs, on the other hand, seemed to hate me. Perhaps I gave off a strange vibe - the kind people say 

animals can pick up on, and they leave me alone because of it. But this dog was different, he came running towards me at full speed and knocked me onto the ground, licking my face.

Laughing, I pushed the furry guy off of me. “Hey, buddy! Who are you?”

I reached around his neck to find a collar, but there was nothing, just loads and loads of fur.

“You lost, sweetie?” I asked it, as though he could actually understand me and reply. But of course, a part of me was just disappointed when he tilted his head and stuck out his tongue.

I began to wonder who’s dog this was. Dogs weren’t allowed at Hogwarts, so it couldn’t possibly be a students. But it couldn’t have been here for a while - it probably would’ve been killed one way or another, by some other animal, or perhaps a dementor. Could dementors suck the souls out of animals too, or was it just people? Could they even kill muggles?

Focus, Cass! What the fuck do we do with this dog?! Leave it here? It’s not like you can take it back to the castle!

“Hey boy, I’m gonna go get some Butterbeer now, you should go find your family, okay?”

He blinked, as I pushed myself up from the grass, and began to walk away.

I felt something tug on my shoe, and groaned as the giant furball continued to trail right behind me. “Buddy, I can’t take you home!”

He whimpered.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” I kicked the ground. “Fine, fine, I’ll give you some attention.” I picked up a stick and threw it. “Go fetch!”

Nothing. He stared right past me, his eyes widening as though fearful of something.

I groaned and knelt down next to him again, my entire mood suddenly dropping from out of nowhere. “Well fuck you then.”

He whimpered again, this time much louder, and I shivered as a gust of wind passed us. “Christ almighty, bud, you alright?”

Now he began going wild, barking like a madman and snarling his teeth, and I finally whipped around to figure out what the hell he was doing.

Oh fuck.

My stomach dropped to my feet and I began to feel dizzy, just like that panic attack I had, but twenty times worse. I couldn’t move, just sit there and try to find my breath, as the cloaked dementor floated closer and closer to me, until he was practically hovering over me, only inches away. My wand lay useless feet away from me - I had dropped it in shock and it had rolled away. I was alone, defenseless, and going to die.

The dog was now howling, though I could barely hear him over the sound of my ringing ears.

I closed my eyes and took a long, shaky breath as I prepared for the worst. It was hopeless, I told myself. I’m gonna die. But it won’t matter, no one will care. It will be better this way.

Every inch of my body screamed in agony, but I bit my lip and remained silent, and somehow calm. Just as I began to lose consciousness, a beam of blueish light shot

through the air like a bolt of lightning, and the dementor was gone.

I took a few moments before opening my eyes, where I saw something even more terrifying than any soul sucking demon could ever be.

It was Sirius Black.


End file.
